So, next Saturday is my first paper and here i am, typing away on my laptop. This is gonna be a pretty emotional post so if you are not that comfortable with midnight muses and random de-motivating shit, then you might wanna skip this entire part.
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I am definitely less motivated as compared to last semester. I worked very hard during my first semester because i had a goal in mind: SIM GE Scholarship. I heard that the pre-requisite was to have full HDs (80/100) on your score sheet and i worked very hard towards that goal. I didn't meet SJ during the weekends (it was his SGT and MP training period), i slogged my guts out almost every day in Starbucks and i usually study from 3pm - 11pm (until starbucks closes on so many ocassions). My friends all called me the chiongster but i didn't care at all. If i get the scholarship, it would really solve lots of problems.
I don't have to scrimp and save each month and worry about school fees when the term starts. I don't have to have tiffs with my mum over school fees and over how i want to borrow from the banks so as to lessen the load on the family and how she feels that borrowing from the banks is stupid and she rather feel burdened than to pay the interest fees.
I don't have to worry and calculate my finances every single month and look enviously at people who could head overseas for exchange programs. I definitely don't have to worry my parents about the hefty $6,420 school fee every six months.
I'm not saying that i am super poor and paying for my school fees would leave me to eat instant noodles every day. But if i had the scholarship to alleviate my monetary issues, it's something that is worth working for and set as a goal.
Results came back and i had 4 Ds instead (70/100). It was good to many, but nope for a scholarship. & i am no athletics who could run to save my own ass so no on the sports excellence part. All i had was that paper with all my grades.
I decided to try for the scholarship and started to be more pro-active when it comes to school activities. I wanted to have a meaningful and fulfilling school life because its my final year.
Fast forward, i applied. Its been three weeks. There were no reply. This is my last chance because the next application period is on Sep and i would had graduated by then.
This is life. You try your best but that doesn't mean that it would happen.
I had an assignment and i worked for it. But i only got 20/40 , and that is barely a pass. Not too sure how my overall score would be, but the feeling definitely suck. It made me re-think about myself and my capabilities - maybe i am just another average or less than average student after all. Maybe the 4 Ds were just lucky. I'm not really that good after all.
With the BKK trip at the end of the year, and the HNMUN/WORLDMUN trip (hopefully) next year's Feb and Mar, it really just meant more money to be poured in. & yeap, school fees too.
I really wonder how it would be then and i really wish that i would had saved enough for all these extra expenses when the time comes. And yes, in case you are wondering, i worked for my own allowances and had been paying for all my stuff since i was in polytechnic.
So sometimes, it really irritates the hell out of me when people take their education for granted. Your parents are rich, they can afford you a degree course. You can afford to retake that module or perhaps, even fail that module so that you don't have to step into the working society any time sooner.
Please be matured and think about how your parents saved for your education. Think about the long meetings that they go through each day, or the amount of shit they have to take from their horrible bosses. Think about the time they spent traveling to and fro their workplace and ultimately, think about how they don't expect anything in return from you but for you to have a degree and live a better life than them.
Please be more matured and think like an adult.
You are an university student for a reason.
Think like one.
& Please, leave me out of your 'i don't care about my education at all' game just because you can afford or was forced into this path by your parents. Someone out there is slogging their guts out and taking their education very seriously. Not everyone is as fortunate as you to be born with a silver spoon, or have the privilege to travel all around the world for the fucking 'experiences'.
I am not saying that it is a crime to be rich, but the next time you decided to treat your education like a piece of joke and might even, pull someone's else grades down because you need to spend time with XXX/do this blah blah instead of contributing towards the project, just stop for a minute and think of how irresponsible you are.
So to sum it out, i'm really pissed at people who take their parents' money for granted just because its not theirs, and people who don't do work for projects.
I'm not really pin-pointing at anymore here, it's just a generalization. But if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it and maybe, just start thinking from other people's perspective for once.
Well, what more can i say? Stay optimistic and just move on with life.
At least my side business is picking up and people are buying our stuffs hahaha! Would be concentrating and talking about it more on my blog after my exams :)
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Date with SJ over the weekends and spent some good quality time together! Thanks for always cheering me up even though i know its just to cheer me up <3 Love you lah.
OOTD which i took outside my house with a self-timer camera. I was damn afraid to see some faces or white patches behind me LOL. But luckily my house here "clean" ah. Hehehe.
Been in love with such coordination these days ever since i saw a model wearing it for Stradivarius! It's not really that warm but i would rather stay inside air-con room hehehe.
#OOTD of the day
Knit wear - Hong Kong
Shirt - Bugis Street
Skorts - Taobao
Bag - Charles and Keith
Shoes - The Editor's Market
Went over to my aunt's house to teach Ashley tuition and wore a simple romper which was given to me by my cousin. Felt quite fat in the romper because it was airy and puffy haha! But i don't care lah!
Well, when life closes one door, it opens another door for you! Been receiving lots of free gifts from samplestore.com and i loveeeee it. #Cheapskate much but free gifts leh.
I will do up reviews soon so keep a lookout for it! & thanks for reading ok!
Really appreciated it :)
SEE ALL OF YOU LOVELY EARTHLINGS SOON!<3