Wednesday, August 12

Difficult choices

Hey guys, it's a month into my new job (internship now) and i'm starting to wonder if i'm really cut out for this industry. Its not that i'm not excited about work anymore, in fact i really love new campaigns because it means a project that requires me to start from zero and craft the entire thing out myself and see a concept take shape into reality.

But everything is happening so fast. Before i knew it, its a month into internship and i realized that i have yet to affirm my love for advertising on a very personal level. Perhaps many would advise me to take it slow and take my time to evaluate what i want in life, but part of me feels like i'm running out of time. Having graduated with a private degree, i'm already, sadly, below a notch alongside my peers who would draw higher recognition and salary simply because of the difference in degree quality. The only thing that i can "win" against them is my working experience, but what if i delve into something, only to realize years later that it is the exact opposite of what i love and wish to do for the rest of my life?

You read stories of how people find their true calling and switch career path at the age of say, 50 years old. But these people are already commanding a steady salary beforehand and more likely than never, saved enough to take a risk. I have nothing. I have my school debts to think about, my parents and my sister's future to plan for. I need to get into something concrete and real, but at the same time, i know that i would simply turn off if i get into a job for the pay without the passion (accounting for sure)

People say that when you are 20 something, take the chance to explore and channel your inner curiosity to explore the world. But here i am, thinking day and night about what i really want to do in life, weighing the pros and cons and thinking if my passion align with the industry i wish to hop onto. 

Oh yes, and even if i were to find the perfect job, sometimes the culture of the industry/company makes a whole heck of difference. It's just so hard to find something that ticks everything on the checklist, but i know that until i find something that does, i can't simply sit down and settle with "life as it is"

I want so much more from life, and it bothers the hell outta me that i can't engineer my life the way i want right now. 

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