Thursday, February 13

40 days of challenge - 24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

There was this time when conversations were the in thing on the phone. Three of you can talk together at the same time and it was so cool because it was so new and stuffs like that. There was once when i stayed "hidden" and another guy confessed to the third guy his "feelings" for me and ask for his opinions. This is so stupid and have absolutely no idea where this whole thing sprout out from, but the third guy said something which really etched itself on my mind.

"Why you choose her, she so fat! Why you no choose XXX, she cuter and prettier. Jane so fat leh"

At that point of time, i have no idea if i should laugh or cry because the second guy knew i was there and he was desperately trying to hush the third guy down but that aggravate the whole situation and the third guy just continued even more. It was funny, yet pretty demoralizing. 

I thought i was good enough at that point of time because i was good and ok with my weight and size. That was the period of time when i decide that my definition of enough was never really enough. There's always another definition that bypasses mine and another skinnier me. 

It's sad something how much insecure i feel about my own body, but that's exactly the thing that's making me watch my weight and keep myself from improving in terms of body. (not to a bigggg extent - still cant understand the mentality of some gym buffs. Gyming ONLY for the sake of health? Yeah yeah cock)

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