This thing about Love ,,

Which is a really different story for me. 

I've always had this concept embedded inside of me that should i gain something wonderful, i would lose something of equivalent value as well. Its the same as the law of alchemy, which if some of you watched the anime "Fullmetal alchemist", is the opening line before the OP starts to roll. 

I always felt that this law applies for anything under the sun, including love. 

Meeting SJ was something beyond expectation, and with every kiss he gives me, it made me felt incredulous at the fact that this human being chose me out of so many other girls (of which he could easily get if he wants to) even though i am flawed in so many ways. Before you start, hold your guns. I'm not trying to fish for any kind of compliments, and you do not have to shower me with any types of comfort or 'but you're good too!' sorta words. 

I just feel extremely lucky, and lucky is a very intangible concept.

Luck comes and goes.

I've seen so many stories with amazing beginnings but bitter endings, endings which are beyond your greatest imaginations, endings which scared the life out of you. 

People say we should fall in love, and we should do it bravely. But i'm never one to go for something which relies so much on uncertainty and emotion. Love is never logical, and things happen.

I can't lament or get a sum of insurance back should this relationship fail.

I can't get any refunds back on the time, effort and sacrifice i had invested in should this relationship fail

But similarly, i wouldn't know what the future would be like if i don't plunge myself in and take a risk.

Love should always involve risk, but calculated risk. 

Falling in love is akin to being an entrepreneur, you have to think of all the possible risks and dangers involved, try your best to solve it and most importantly, know that failures can happen but it would make you stronger and much more experienced in that particular area.  

But sometimes, entrepreneurs fail and fall from the very top to the very bottom.

Love is probably the same, but i would rather lose the cash than the ability to love.

I have absolutely no idea why did i just typed a whole chunk of rubbish and senseless words which probably makes no sense to anyone, but i guess that's how i feel now.

I want to jump right in and believe that this is the relationship, but part of me just kept holding me back. I wonder how it feels like to love someone 100% and give him your all. I wonder how it is to love someone that much. 

I think its scary to love someone that much.

I probably can never do that this lifetime.

x

5 days break

Starting from last thursday was Sijun's 5 days break and i'm glad that we finally have some time to spend together because army had been taking a real toll on our relationship for the past one month. Re-visiting some of the places that i went to,,

Sijun accompanied me to school (thanks darling!) and went through a whole 6 hours lecture with me, feeling bored out at the same time.  Actually i have no idea if he is bored out or not because he did understand the theories the lecturer was talking about BETTER than me, and explained to me the logic behind it.

Now THATS awkward. 

But thanks dear still, for accompanying me to school! HAHA, i know you are damn bored lah. Went to Zouk afterwards because roomie wanted to party and relieve the stress from work hahaha! Suddenly glad that i exchanged for this shift dress with another dress on Carousell because i really like this one!

Deciding that my face is too fat and i've gotta "push" my stupid neck back so that my face looks better =0=

Fat face smile. 8D

With the rommie whilst waiting for a taxi. 

ZOUK WAS FRIGGING CROWDED THAT DAY

Super happening night because firstly, our friend got into a quarrel/fight and it's my first time like having such a thing to happen to me (in a way) so i find it pretty interesting and like a new experience haha! & some of them got real high and these three guys came to dance with roomie and me whilst we lost Sijun and Kwanter and it was pretty awkwardz for me in a sense <.<

At least for me lah ahhaha.

Late meeting on Saturday because Sijun and i were both super tired from last night. Managed to complete some project parts too so it was a productive day after all!

Spotted this over at Takashimaya when we were around Town. Its like a million kg challenge and for people who signed up and overweight to lose weight and win prizes in a sense. I was a little apprehensive when i knew i had to take my weight because it had been months since i last took it.

WELL I'M GLAD I DIDN'T HAD TO BURN THE WEIGHING MACHINE /O/

Decided to try Saveur afterwards at Far East Plaza (newspaper articles plastered over walls helpssss) and its pretty good to be honest.

This duck confetti was good, but a tad salty to my liking. & the potato smashed made me really full because .. its potatoes. 

HAHAHA my fat face. 8'D

Seeing all these bloggers getting sponsorship for plastic surgery is making me super jealous and insecure because they so pretty liao still plastic what sai sia?! <.<

Raise level in SG only =.=

& went to book cafe over at Clarke Quay today with Joey and Sijun! Just got to take pictures whilst waiting for the food because its 1.cafe , 2. we are girls and 3. what else can we do?!

Ordered their fries which turns out to be nice. Iced mocha is pretty nice too heh.

Poor Sijun sleeping because he was too bored with waiting around and doing nothing. It was a study date for Joey and me actually, but i was spending so little time with SJ that i decided to ask him along.

Just Joey sending me e-mails with pictures HAHA. 

Inception sia, pictures within a picture 8'D

Back home after a whole day of cafe and study and SJ being bored LAWL

I know i was being really emotional some days back and thought a lot and a lot about this whole relationship in general. Being there with you matters so much to me. School's busy, clash in timings and just everything in general. 

Projects, Projects, Projects.

I just want to say that i am soooooo glad that you went to Military Police because it does signify more time for us right? & spending these days with you made me realized how much i missed you and how much *this* means to me - you being there to share my joys and pains and angst for projects and school and well, lectures. 

Love ya. 

x

Thanks for making me fall in love with you all over again baby.

The things we do after 10 days

Hi guys! I hope the #40dayschallenge isn't boring you guys out. Some of the answers i have to the questions may seems to be pretty lame and sian to some of you, but my life is uninteresting so LAWL.

In any case, i finally met SJ after 10 days of him being in camp! Anyways, he went to SCS and is now training as a sergeant cadet :) I heard that trainings are pretty ok as compared to Tekong's BMT, so i'm just glad that his life is slightly better as compared to then! But i think he is the section IC so he has got more things to do (like keeping guns and all) so hopefully he is able to cope :)

We met up on Wednesday and went around to shop for CNY clothes and have our favourite Tamoya! This is our second CNY together and i'm glad that we can spend it together again :)

This is the logic of the pictures taken that day.

"Ok my hair is like damn oily now. Lemme tie it up and see if its better. Maybe i can have a sharper jaw look right"

"Ok cannot cannot, i look damn fat. & my eyes damn small. So lemme try with messy hair look. Woah maybe put my hair here looks like those 'just-outta-bed' celebrity looks"

"Ok nvm, maybe can take a decent picture of me then i can post on instagram. Borrow SJ's leg. Eh what he doing ah, why he keep playing clash of clans and ignoring me?!"

Me: "Eh come, we take picture! You stop playing your game i tell you"

SJ: "Ok ok come we take picture"

Me: "Eh cannot, cannot. This filter not nice. We try this one. This one my face will look brighter and more smooth mah. Then machiam like photoshop already."

SJ: "Ok lemme cover my head so that i won't look as botak ok. Eh where's my cap ah?!"

Me: "Maybe i can try to act cute a bit ah. Then can cover up my face, like its actually not round one. Is i make it round one hor"

SJ: "Ok i am still gonna cover my head"

Me: "Eh cannot lah, very act cute leh. Ok i think we just smile lah"

SJ: "Maybe if i give a shocked look then they wont concentrate on my head lah hor"

Me: "Eh we try this angle. Very tumblr-ish right? Waa cannot cannot, my gummy smile wtf"

SJ: "Huh what thing, smile ah? Ok ok smile"

Me: "HMM, maybe if i smile? Then i open my mouth a bit then look sharper ah my face heh heh"

SJ: "I just smile lah heh heh"

Me: "Eh i act lah. Act yi ge, my mouth like very sexy right AHAHHAHAHA"

SJ: "Ok come i act cool ah. Put my head here"

Me: "K la k la decent one. Last one liao."

SJ: "Huh still want ah. Ahyo"

#itsjns life. Ok our life very sian one HAHA. After this we went back to playing Clash of clan which is a super super nice game! My nephew introduced it to me (Pri 1 only) and i introduced it to SJ and we are both hooked. 

GO DOWNLOAD AND PLAY!

Uh huh

It do gets hard sometimes when things doesn't go as plan. It do gets depressing sometimes when promised things churned up as empty ones. It do feels lonely at night sometimes when you are supposed to be here but you are not.

Sorry that i am being so emotional in the middle of the night. Is it some universal law that people starts to think more and gets more and more upset as it gets darker and darker? Its like the sky is a direct reflection and proportional to the mood.

Just watched the anniversary episode of Vampire Dairies and i cant believe how far the entire series have managed to come till this date! I got into the fandom during season 2, and look at it now. 

In any case, i have got to stay positive and be an understanding girlfriend. Lol, how cliche of me to have such problems at times when i think about it. Feels so uncool to rant about such trivial stuffs but at the same time, be so bothered about such things.

& the stupid sounds of wind and footsteps outside in the living room when i'm alone at home,  AND the fact that my hair is all oily doesn't make the situation better. When's my mum coming back?!

Weekends xo

Finally saw SJ after 2 weeks, he survived through field camp! So proud of him :)

We went to eat Keisuke Tonkotsu King over at Tiong Bahru's Orchid Hotel during the weekends and it was so good. I really, really like it! You can customized your ramen and i like my noodles hard, so that really works well for me!

No picture of the noodle because im too hungry so i glupppp everything down.

We had Tonkatsu Ma Maison for dinner (so japanese that day lol) and it was good too! Love it, but the queue is insane.

Next, we went to shop around Orchard and met Deb along the way! Too much of a coincidence sometimes lol! We recognized her from that christmas hat on her head by the way. Its so Deborah HAHAHHA

Happy that i would get to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with this boy! Just two more weeks to POP, hang on! <3

On a side note, i am really looking for a new camera. I NEED a new camera. My samsung seems to be getting lousier and lousier. All the blurry pictures and whatsnot :/ Makes me so cranky sometimes. Im aiming at the samsung Ex2f white, and its $699 on courts.

FML.